Everybody wants a win-win situation. Having this type of mindset creates an attitude of doing good for others and yourself, self-interest. This is a spirit. An environment. Synergy.
We have to literally retrain our mind to create this spirit of win-win. We have been compared to others and been in certain environments for so long that we have created this “scarcity” mindset where everything is a competition and there isn’t enough, thus creating a win-lose, lose-win or lose-lose.
I love this story of the green and clean example. Covey gave his son responsibility to get the yard “green and clean”. It didn’t go quite as planned. Covey had to remember what was first in his life, “Raise boys, not grass”—relationships were more important than the grass. His son hadn’t kept his end of the bargain but Covey realized that you don’t abandon the plan when it doesn’t go so smoothly, especially at the beginning.
“You can’t hold people responsible for results if you supervise their methods.” Give them guidelines but don’t tell them what or how to do it. Let them discover their options. Let your children and your family make mistakes. Hold them accountable as agreed but do it with love. The ownership and stewardship associated with responsibility and agreements will create energetic approaches to other areas of life. They will feel that satisfaction and sense of accomplishment and growth that can only come from personal responsibility—this includes mistakes and successes that comes from personal growth. If we create a win-win in our homes I bet we will see magic happen!
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